Homeschooling Question or Topic of the Month. Parent Support from Mary Wolk, a long-time home educator for Laurel Springs who homeschooled her two daughters. She resides now in Iowa.

Do you ever wonder what life lessons you teach your children without knowing it? Sitting in a warm, comfy room, in the middle of below-zero outdoor temperatures with well over a foot of snow on the ground, and no end in sight, can raise memories of times past.  The other day, I was in just such a place and mood. As the snow raged outside, my mind wandered over snowy days from my childhood and beyond. One day really stood out.  Recalling that time, I started wondering if that day had impacted my daughters in any lasting fundamental way. It was December, and I'd taken my (homeschooled) five and seven-year-old girls from the warm climes of sunny California to frigid Boston for "the winter." Having, myself, grown up in the Midwest, I wanted my daughters to know first-hand what it was like to spend a winter living in snow country. I chose Boston for our get-away, because their big sister (by then an adult) lived and worked there, and we'd get to see her often.

Boston weather complied with my hopes and, one morning soon after we arrived, we awoke to a wonderland of snow that had fallen while we slept. So much snow, that buses weren't running, traffic was virtually non-existent, and it seemed as though a breathless hush had fallen over the usually bustling city. It was magical!

Luckily, the outside temperature - not terribly cold - was cooperating for those of us looking for a winter snow adventure. We hadn't gotten around to buying a sled yet, but I was determined to get outdoors and introduce my girls to fun in the snow (okay, I'll admit it; I was longing to revisit my own childhood). After talking over our options - a long walk to the library? No. We could do that any day. Shopping at one of the nearby indoor malls? No again. This had to be something unique to fun in snow. The obvious answer had to be - build a snowman! Never having built snowmen, or understanding the enormity of their plans, the girls had BIG ideas; we'd build a snow "family." Even though I knew a whole snow family was unlikely to become reality, I didn't discourage them from their lofty goal. Undaunted, we gathered some supplies to use for decoration, bundled up, and headed outside.

We were dismayed when we got outside and saw there wasn't any place suitable for our planned masterpieces in the "front yard" of our hotel. But...right next door, at the Harvard Men's Club...there was a charming, small yard, surrounded by a lovely wrought iron fence, and chock full of a couple of feet of pristine snow!

My rule-oriented personality told me we really had to get permission from the club before launching into a construction project on their property. Besides, this was a perfect chance to give the girls a hands-on lesson in respecting other peoples' property. So, there we were, a mom and her two young girls storming the bastions of Boston's elite men's club. Of course, I didn't let on to the girls that this was anything out of the ordinary. Heck, I didn't even know if they'd let us in - but it was worth a try. After ringing the distinctive bell, we were met most cordially by the club's steward. (I noticed he didn't invite us into the vestibule, but the girls took no such notice.) Immediately, my seven-year-old piped up, telling him we lived next door and asking if we could build snow people in the club's front yard. Without hesitation, the steward broke into a huge smile and said, "Certainly! Have a good time!" I hadn't been expecting such an enthusiastic response, but the girls hadn't expected anything less.

Thanking the fellow profusely, we merrily set about making a life-size "snow person" who turned out to be quite a lady.

After about an hour, she was finished, replete with a hat, scarf, and a purse (prominently displayed on her arm, which was firmly secured in front of her tummy), lest there be no mistaking her gender. I have to admit, I was feeling a little smug - I mean, the idea of a snow woman gracing the front yard of an elite men's club! The irony was obviously lost on my girls.

Flushed with pride over our creation, we abandoned our plan to make a whole family of snow people; we were feeling just a tad too cold. My little snow bunnies hadn't had any idea how tiring it would be rolling all that snow around. I wasn't surprised by their reluctance to continue (actually, I was relieved), and I let them lead the way. Hot chocolate and cookies were sounding pretty good about then. So we packed up our unused supplies and headed inside. It really had been an afternoon to remember.
You might wonder what in the world this has to do with lasting life lessons, but my quirky mind saw a connection, and I decided to ask my daughters about it. I was chiefly interested in knowing if our little escapade had influenced them in terms of how they felt about themselves as females...you know...the men's club with a snow woman in the yard. Their answers were interesting. The elder said it never entered her mind to think about herself, as a female, being "less than" boys. She went on to say that, by the age of seven, she'd had lots of playmates who were boys, and had never been given any idea from them,  her dad, or me that being a girl was a handicap. She'd always felt she was an equal on the gender stage. WHEW!

Her younger sister, though, had a somewhat different story to tell; one that would never have occurred to me. She said our snow adventure did help instill in her the feeling that, as a female, she was on equal footing with boys - that really, there was no difference beyond the obvious physical characteristics. She had picked up on the "snow woman in front of a men's club" incongruity, and felt it was just as it should be. Moreover, she said she got the message that day that no matter what she decided she wanted to do, she'd be up to the task, regardless of the fact that she was a girl. I guess I should have realized that when, the following year (at six), she was the only girl on a local kids' soccer team - and they won their division championship!